tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39567132716006231322024-03-19T03:00:54.302-07:00Don't make your sitter CRAZY!!!!The rants of a twenty something SAHM/child care provider.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-33177286843273936022009-12-15T05:57:00.000-08:002009-12-15T05:59:16.728-08:00Enter to win a Moby at Familyliciousreviews.blogspot.comGo to familyliciousreviews.blogspot.com to enter to win a Moby, I LOVE this product and want to win soooooo bad! Wish me luck and luck to all who enter!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-45957271291770405322009-05-06T17:34:00.000-07:002009-05-06T18:07:51.571-07:00Rough DayToday I went in for the first of many ultrasounds, it was the baseline to make sure that I don't have any cysts and that my lining is looking healthy. That all looked good and then I was talking to the nurse about how hard I've been working to loose all of the weight in order to be a part of their study and save 1500 bucks. I've lost 22 pounds and I've worked really really really hard to do it. Then they pulled me back into their little meeting room and sat me down and began telling me that they screwed up and I needed to meet the weight requirement the day that I signed up to be in this cycle for the in vitro. So, I never even had a chance of being in the study. Being the emotional and hormonal wreck that I am I started crying like a big blubbering baby. I've worked so hard and endured weeks of taking that stupid metphormin crap that made me so extremely ill that I could barely function just so I could loose the weight. ALL FOR NOTHING!!!!! Yes, now I'm at a healthier weight and that feels good but I stressed myself out for weeks trying to make the weight when I could have been concentrating on moving and my family. It was such a dissappointment.<br /><br />After that I pulled myself together and went to check out at the front desk, where the most rediculously hair brained woman on earth works, and she proceeded to tell me that I had to pay them $4500.00 today or I wouldn't even be able to do the in vitro. This is BS because I called them weeks ago to make sure that we had all of our ducks in a row and that we wouldn't have to pay a big bunch of money unexpectedly. They assured me that we wouldn't and then this!!! I LOST IT! COMPLETELY LOST IT! I know that I'm uber-emotional right now, and I cry just thinking about the silliest things, but how dare they do this to me in my emotionally delicate position. They deal with people like me for a living, they should know better! <br /><br />I called my mom and cried the entire way home, professing that I give up and I don't want to do this any more. This is honestly the most heart wrenching and horrible thing I've ever willingly put myself through. Then I went home and blubbered all over the Fuzzy Guy. Then I pulled out our bill and added up the numbers and realized that they are a bunch of billing tards over at that fertility clinic. The most I should owe is $2500.00 and I shouldn't have to pay any of it until after my insurance has been billed. After calling them and confirming I was right I felt much better but OH BOY what a morning!!! <br /><br />On another subject entirely last night I watched a show called Steve-o: Demise and Rise. I'm not a huge Jackass fan or anything but drug and alcohol addiction affects everybody and I wanted to hear his story. It was probably one of the most disturbing and sad documentaries I've ever watched. It hit me really hard. I've had a lot of friends that were addicts and I saw so much of them in his story. I dated a guy in high school named Josh and I adored him. He was such a beautiful human being. I had a crush on him from middle school on and when we finally started dating I was on cloud 9. It was my freshman year and the relationship didn't last long but I always considered him my friend and always had a soft spot for him in my heart. Josh killed himself my junior year in high school. The night he killed himself I ran into him at the grocery store after not seeing him for over a year. His teeth were rotting, he was skinny and ashen, and he looked so lost. He called me later and asked if I could hang out with him but I couldn't. Later that night he was driving and a cop tried to pull him over, Josh took a gun out and shot himself driving down the road. I doubt that there was anything I would have been able to do to help him but I wish I could have told him that he was loved, that he was beautiful, and that his friends needed him. Steve-o's story is the story of so many people. So many beautiful lost souls. Josh was one of three people I loved who killed themselves that year. Addiction at the forefront of all of the suicides. So I dedicate this blog to Josh, we all miss you so much. I think about you all of the time, you were loved!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-4169656310725905192009-04-29T07:54:00.000-07:002009-04-29T08:51:17.691-07:00Short Update (Okay pretty freakin long update)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdduJeOSTUHmTVcyv-XQw9CCiqaZs098OFnV7XVNEcS79POMTHc7rqAqup6JHXL2j-Gt53NTWQGXpzIxRLTE3goLzo51h7ioVauq5xXvvLKFlfvDThiTpuB2-HU6-IKcySpi1zXpkrnbpz/s1600-h/Mommyandbones.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdduJeOSTUHmTVcyv-XQw9CCiqaZs098OFnV7XVNEcS79POMTHc7rqAqup6JHXL2j-Gt53NTWQGXpzIxRLTE3goLzo51h7ioVauq5xXvvLKFlfvDThiTpuB2-HU6-IKcySpi1zXpkrnbpz/s320/Mommyandbones.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330141144524679218" border="0" /></a><br />I've been a bit busy here lately and have had no, and I mean absolutely NO, desire to write. I'm tired, and frustrated, and excited, and happy, and grumpy all mixed up in one hormonal heap. As many of you know the Fuzzy guy and I are currently going through the in vitro process and that in itself is an incredibly stressful circumstance. But because I like to overachieve and stress myself and my family out to the maximum limits we've also decided to move. Not only are we moving but we are doing it ON the exact same weekend that I'm getting my eggs removed and the same week I have to spend two days in bed. See, I told you.<br /><br />We are going in for the egg retrieval around the 17th of May and then around the 30th we will know if it worked. I can't tell you how scared I am. Years and years and years of hopes and dreams are riding on the results. Our chances are really good, the doctor thinks our chances are in the range of about 75% but I'm still scared. I'm still very young, all of my parts seem to be in working order with the help of a little (or a LOT) of medicines, and I've had a baby before which means they know I don't have a hostile womb. But still, OMG, what if? What if? I get these waves of complete panic running through my stomach, I've never been so nervous about anything in my life. The actual process doesn't scare me at all, just the end result. I feel like maybe I want it too bad, that maybe I haven't been a good enough mom to Bugs and I don't deserve another baby, that maybe because I am not religious I don't have the right to still hope and pray (to who or what I don't know but I still do it) for such a miracle. There is so very very much going through my mind. I'm trying to be positive, and for the most part I am, but the fear eats away at that sunny outer lining sometimes and I want to fall into a heap on the floor at mercy to the butterflies that are eating away at my stomach.<br /><br />Moving. We are moving, as long as the idiots that are selling us the house come through with the inspection items, but there is still a chance they wont and then we spent all last weekend packing for nothing. That will be fun! Unpacking in the same house we packed up because the sellers are so cheap that you can hear their wallets squeak all the way out in Michigan. So keep your fingers crossed for us that everything works out with that. I'm very excited to move, the house is perfect. Four bedrooms, two large living rooms, a HUGE kitchen, fenced in back yard, attached garage, and on the ideal side of town. I saw this house on the market almost a year ago and fell in love with it but never really pursued it. Then by chance we were shown it and I fell in love with it even more and made an offer. The sellers Realtor is a major piece of work though, she has no concept for deadlines and even though we have the movers scheduled we honestly don't know for sure that we are moving. We only have 16 days left to finalize....uhg!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />Finally, and perhaps the most frustrating of all, in order to save $1500.00 on the in vitro I've signed up to be in a study. The study has been extremely successful and I really want to be a part of it but in order to do that I have to loose a total of 33.4 pounds. I've lost 19 but I've hit a major plateau and I can't seem to get past it. I've been walking 3 to 5 miles almost every day of the week on top of pilates and turbo jam CD's but I still can't get past it. I've restricted my calories, cut out carbs, and stopped eating chocolate but I still can't get past it. I only have sixteen days left to loose 14.4 pounds and I'm sweating it. I would usually just take a bunch of laxatives and starve myself for a day or two to get past the hump but that is not healthy and I'm afraid it would really mess with the drugs I'm taking and my ability to create eggs so I'm doing it as healthily as I possibly can. And after the 10th of May I can't even exercise any more so that will make it all the more difficult. Any suggestions?<br /><br />So to summarize, I'm excited, and scared, and frustrated. I really do think that soon I could be well on my way to pregoville which is my ultimate dream, hopefully as the mommy of twins if I am lucky. And hopefully the move and unpacking will help me keep my mind busy while I'm waiting that awful ten days for the results, and hopefully I can loose that last 14 pounds. So that is the update on me, I doubt I'll be writing again for a while so keep us in your thoughts and appreciate your children and your ability to breed if you have them because they truly are precious gifts.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-44744161424133443042009-03-09T07:13:00.000-07:002009-03-09T07:58:39.859-07:00LearningWhen I was a kid I pretty much lived on antibiotics. I went from ear infection to ear infection, I always had sore throats and sinus infections, and my last year of high school I had mono three times. I don't think many people knew back then the horrible affects that antibiotics have on our immune system and our health. Since moving to Idaho and being surrounded by a lot of very natural and health conscious people I've become more and more aware of my body and what I put into it. Having Bubby was a HUGE influence on this, I want him to be as healthy as possible. My cousin gave me a book called Super Baby Foods when he was a baby and that was the beginning of my journey to give him the most natural foods possible. He only had a handful of jarred baby foods because I made all of his food organically and by hand. It was actually quiet easy and I felt so much better about what was going into his body. As he gets older I still try my best to keep him away from sugery artificial foods, give him organics whenever possible, and feed him a lot of whole grains. He still to this day eats plain yogurt, which I'm quiet proud of because the yogurt on the shelves now is so full of artificial sweeteners...uhg. I can't stand the stuff myself but I'm glad he can.<br /><br />I guess my point is, Timmy and I are much healthier than many of the people I know. My ability to fight off sickness amazes me every day. I do my best to stay away from antibiotics and the difference is amazing!!!! Letting my body naturally fight off sickness is so much better and it takes less time. Timmy has only had to be on antibiotics twice in his life for ear infections and he is an incredibly healthy little man! I continually read about nutrition and the more I learn the better health my family is in. Yes I know some of you will read this and say, "but you are overweight, how can you really be that healthy?" True, and screw you for thinking that! By the way I know who you are....!!!! But I know I'm overweight, it is something my grandparents, my parents, and my sister and I all struggle with. It requires re-teaching our bodies to eat foods that they are not used to eating. Growing up it wasn't unusual to eat out a few times a week and so that is what I've also done since moving away. I'm trying to change this but it is a slow process. I'll get there, I won't teach my son the bad habits that I have. <br /><br />Right now I'm reading a book given to me by one of my moms friends called The Makers Diet. She gave it to me because she had an extra but I don't think she ever really read it. I am NOT a religious person but the book makes sense. I encourage EVERYBODY to read this book and think very hard about the antibiotics and growth hormones and pesticides in our food and what they are doing to our bodies. I will never feed my son milk or meat with these things in it again. I honestly believe that these things are a major factor behind my continuing fertility issues. I'm not trying to preach, I'm not a perfect eater by any means, but I believe small changes help and this book seriously changed my life. Please please please go out and read it. <br /><br />The whole point of this little tangent is that I have a really sore throat right now and I'm trying my best to be positive when I really just feel like crawling into my bed, sending all the kiddo's home, and turning off the world for a few days. I know this too shall pass but I really hate having a sore throat. So I've decided in addition to what I've already written I'm going to make a list of my favorite things, just to get my mind in a happier place...so here goes:<br /><br />My favorite things:<br /><br />Bubby<br />The beginning of spring when the sun comes back and everything smells new and alive<br />Camping<br />Babies<br />Home<br />My Mommy<br />My Sister<br />Television (its terrible I know but I really love TV)<br />Nutrition books<br />Strawberry Milk<br />My morning coffee<br />Cream of wheat<br />The closeness of my family<br />My husbands wonderful insurance benefits (I can't be thankful enough for these.)<br />Mangos<br />Tacos<br />Peach Pie<br />The Twilight Books but mostly just Edward Cullen (SWOOOOOOOOOON)<br />Robert Pattinson (I know, I'm such a teenybopper, how can you not love that boys smile???!!!)<br />My neices and nephews (I wish I saw them more)<br />Mac Computers<br />The smurfs and The Snorks<br />Boise, I really love where I live!<br />HOme<br />HOme<br />HOme<br />My friends, I'm so very very thankful for all of my friends, especially my girlies.<br />Better homes and gardens cook books, they are so awesome<br />My crockpot<br />Blogs<br />Wine<br />Fondu<br />My dog<br />My red chair and my new old couch<br /><br /><br />Thank you for reading my blog guys, good luck and good health, happy Monday!!!!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-22596869819307408972009-03-01T11:27:00.000-08:002009-03-01T11:37:37.988-08:00Bitchy and sick of it!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD_mrKbwVKYnd7Lij1mknDrMM8c9fC681SGn28dRFJ1rZkMtUxnfEQDoXDn1WixK39v0N1sFK94WZDFOff4VhVRHkPPhK7_1xp8CtWdNzlhWOWIiUYyUW23bTVLHtcaoOlHw5sHELtql5t/s1600-h/Winter+2008+669.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD_mrKbwVKYnd7Lij1mknDrMM8c9fC681SGn28dRFJ1rZkMtUxnfEQDoXDn1WixK39v0N1sFK94WZDFOff4VhVRHkPPhK7_1xp8CtWdNzlhWOWIiUYyUW23bTVLHtcaoOlHw5sHELtql5t/s320/Winter+2008+669.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308305076270139666" border="0" /></a><br />Well its that time in the fertility process where I get super super super irritable. I can hardly stand myself, it makes me feel very sorry for Andy and Timmy. My stomach is bloated, everything hurts, I feel dizzy, and everybody and everything annoys me. I hate this part. It last for at least a week but last time it lasted almost two. My OPK turned positive this morning so tomorrow we are going in for our second IUI. I feel very positive about this cycle. I have two, almost three, mature follicles and we have all been healthy so I think maybe the stars will align this time. I sure hope so! I'm so freaking sick of this whole processes.<br /><br />Andy's job seems to be secure right now but they arent handing out raises this year which I find extremely frustrating! It scares me that maybe our benefits will change in June as well. If this cycle doesn't work I think we are going to go ahead with IVF, I'm afraid after June our insurance may no longer offer such awesome fertility benefits. If that happens I don't want to have any regrets. I wanted to loose about thirty pounds before doing IVF but that doesn't give me much time so I'm not going to put it off just because of that.<br /><br />This is such an emotional process, I don't know how many more cycles I can take. If the IVF doesnt work I'm going to take a year or two off. I want another baby so much but I can't neglect everything else in my life to reach that goal. Anyway, just some thoughts. Have a good Sunday!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-86464856023870136552009-02-27T07:21:00.000-08:002009-02-27T07:42:58.502-08:00Its Friday and I'm brokeWell it is Friday, its even pay day, and the money is already gone. I'm so tired of being broke. But broke as I am I can't feel too sorry for myself. The state the economy is in has done wonders for me believe it or not. I've always been one of those people that constantly wants things. I get a new car and a month later I'm ready for a new one. I move into a new house and am ready to move back out a few months later. I have a miracle baby and want four more. I think it is human nature to want what we don't have. Unfortunately in the past I would get what I wanted no matter the cost and it put my family into debt, causing a rift in my marriage and stress that I attribute to a plethora of my health problems. Now that the debt is gone, for the most part, I find myself wanting more and more and more. But the beauty of this is that I've learned a bit of self control. I believe that I can attribute this self control to growing up but it is something I struggle and work with every single day of my life. I've had to learn to leave my credit cards at home, to create and stick to a budget, to stop eating out, and not to spoil Bug with every toy he fancies. I've learned to appreciate the gas guzzling bitch of a Suburban I drive. It is uneconomical and terrible for the environment but I can't get rid of it because we are upside down. We are upside down on it because I kept trading in vehicle after vehicle for it, never happy with what I had. Now I have 3 1/2 years left to pay on it and once it is paid off I will OWN it, I've never really owned a vehicle outright before, except our $300 Chevy but even that took me six months to pay off. So I love my S<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfffvr-uS9R6U2tSG9JLE6zroVqTbXvpViX4Ky_XPRAbQxSeZixmZrnWbuqmLzUu_nqhI8lrLINR5C6M4wWdUX0iURsq-cb7JmaV9UteCJ15EIJBbeNoWXnZOjXUdlBX6nr1YBDmayv852/s1600-h/IMAGE_973.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfffvr-uS9R6U2tSG9JLE6zroVqTbXvpViX4Ky_XPRAbQxSeZixmZrnWbuqmLzUu_nqhI8lrLINR5C6M4wWdUX0iURsq-cb7JmaV9UteCJ15EIJBbeNoWXnZOjXUdlBX6nr1YBDmayv852/s320/IMAGE_973.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5307503023365396866" border="0" /></a>uburban. I love the butt warming seats, the roomy interior, and its reliability. I love that we can take off camping in it and fit all of our friends in one vehicle. I love that I can see over all of the cars parked on the side of the street instead of having to just hope I'm not pulling in front of oncoming traffic.<br /><br />In addition to my Suburban I've been obsessed lately with moving. I want so much to purchase a new home, I hate renting. The house we live in is so old and crappy, loud and mouldy, and there are spiders all over downstairs! But you know what, its cheap rent, great landlords, and roomy. Although it was my goal to be out of here by this summer I have decided to stick it out for one more year, until we really can afford what I want. This was a VERY hard decision for me, but I'm pretty damn proud of myself for making this decision...on my own!<br /><br />Finally, because of our fertility issues I've become even more thankful for the miracle that is my son. I love him so much and knowing how truly spectacular and unlikely it is that he is here makes me appreciate every minute detail that is my son. I know someday I'll be blessed with another baby, but Bug will always be a wonder. Created out of love not from doctors and drugs and tubes. Of course our next baby will be created out of love as well but in a very different and much more expensive way.<br /><br />So I guess the point of all of this is a reflection. I'm learning and growing and I'm pretty proud of myself. I live day to day, counting pennies like never before but I'm learning something very valuable. To appreciate what I have, to love the people I'm with, and to be thankful for the roof over my head. I know that I have it much better than most, and thanks to this economy I've found a new appreciation for all I have.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-91238710434544830772009-02-19T09:29:00.000-08:002009-02-19T09:37:03.889-08:00Quicken Online Sucks!!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKzJtnrbL0R9fRqiP-McTV-OVmYExa0I-lj02Y4j8MGIVNxsho2FwwtcId7m0FjTnskZGHWOh4yah5SlfihSyKJrpEyyT9FWx3MrOSyOWrIlv_2gc0BkX25F_oGFfMnJx0zUG2YEQxc0GN/s1600-h/Winter+2008+209.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKzJtnrbL0R9fRqiP-McTV-OVmYExa0I-lj02Y4j8MGIVNxsho2FwwtcId7m0FjTnskZGHWOh4yah5SlfihSyKJrpEyyT9FWx3MrOSyOWrIlv_2gc0BkX25F_oGFfMnJx0zUG2YEQxc0GN/s320/Winter+2008+209.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304563855479332434" border="0" /></a><br />I recently changed banks and was very sad to find out that my new bank did not have an online register, one where you can enter pending transactions and see spending reports, etc. Then I found Quicken online! It looked great, a less extravagant version of Quicken at home, accessible from anywhere, and did I mention FREE??? I was so excited and spent an entire afternoon transferring all of my info over and uploading transactions. It worked great for a couple of days and now I'm lucky if I can even get the stupid thing to log me in. I rely heavily upon my online registers and without them I am very lost. I put all of my bills, future and past, into the register so I know when and what needs to be paid every day. The fact that I can't log into my account more than half of the time is frustrating beyond words! I hate you Quicken Online, I hate you!!!! This isn't just a down day, or even a down week, it has been going on for months now. It is ridiculous. Then if I happen to be lucky enough to get into my account it won't download my transactions from my bank or kicks me off. So to my two readers out there, please please don't waste your time. Its a terrible program!<br /><br />In other news, I started another round of fertility meds yesterday. It looks like our next IUI will be on the 27th or 28th. We are very hopeful that this round will work better than our last one.<br /><br />Alright, I'm done bitching for today. Bye!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-40539001606801788352009-02-16T18:09:00.000-08:002009-02-16T18:31:43.663-08:00Four year old boys and company don't mix<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2-QiM2W5yyYLMs7KIw9_wqf8JnbbSTvCVuCou7oLeI4CPVQFhc5rGZXewqw74_8bvaP8pqrYIiioscmrwXbpqjsP8Ro-l8WjigWrc43ohuaUS0ahGIbVnKLBoHr47W5qyT7S9fUJ1Ms4O/s1600-h/IMAGE_946.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2-QiM2W5yyYLMs7KIw9_wqf8JnbbSTvCVuCou7oLeI4CPVQFhc5rGZXewqw74_8bvaP8pqrYIiioscmrwXbpqjsP8Ro-l8WjigWrc43ohuaUS0ahGIbVnKLBoHr47W5qyT7S9fUJ1Ms4O/s320/IMAGE_946.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303587032094005570" border="0" /></a><br />Today was a long day. Today was the one day I decided to stay in my sweat pants. I don't do this often because I try really hard to be professional but I didn't have very many kids coming today and so I thought, what the hell.<br /><br />There is an evil force out there that determines that the day I put my sweat pants on is the day that everybody comes to call. Last time I decided to stay in my sweats the health inspector showed up unexpectedly at my house, I was so insanely embarrassed!!!! Today I put my sweats on and all of my clients decided to stop by for friendly visits. I usually LOVE when my clients hang out to chat with me. I don't get a lot of adult interaction so I really do relish any adult time I can steal. But today, oh man, I was so embarrassed. Me in my stained and torn sweats, my greasy hair, unvacuumed house, no bra, torn sweater, and toys everywhere. Why today? Why? Now they all probably think that I look like this all of the time. To add to my utterly loathsome appearance was my son. He is generally on his worse behavior when I have company, I think he gauges the times when he can push Mommy damn near the edge and then decides to not only push her over but set her on fire and laugh as she falls. He was INSANE!!!!! INSANEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! There is no excuse for his behavior, he was horrible. He climbed, he screamed, he attacked baby girl and the mutt, he climbed on my clients who looked less than thrilled, and he threw fit after fit after fit. I wanted to scream and kick and lock him away but I could not. Why does he do this? I'm beginning to loose my confidence as a mother, my child is not a human but a tazmanian devil on a search and destroy mission of my home and my sanity. He's winning and I'm ready to just hand him the trophy.<br /><br />I watch him sleep at night and his beatiful fat little cheeks squeeze up and down and I love him so much. My heart beats out of my chest with love for him. Then the morning comes and this thing, this crazed energizer bunny comes screaming into the room and I th<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW0U6hdcL668AP0ObxKEXmDHFBNoP5cckRSELnl9UlvO9_Iur1us1F4iAV9Bv_qUBsk1PeWdQKtloJft-crqfJahA1kVg79JNLIdiCTkrtXwHBcVRdEAQjloiN_r2zXKfNLscxPmlByz3_/s1600-h/Winter+2008+444.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW0U6hdcL668AP0ObxKEXmDHFBNoP5cckRSELnl9UlvO9_Iur1us1F4iAV9Bv_qUBsk1PeWdQKtloJft-crqfJahA1kVg79JNLIdiCTkrtXwHBcVRdEAQjloiN_r2zXKfNLscxPmlByz3_/s320/Winter+2008+444.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303588280707139058" border="0" /></a>ink to myself...."self, shit...shit...shit....are we going to make it through this day? Self? Hello, self? Shit, self ran away!"<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I do love Bubby, more than anything in this entire world. But I need a break. I wish my mom lived closer and my sister didn't move away. I wish my cousins weren't so self involved and would offer to help me like I have helped with their children. But most of all I wish that Bubby would stop spilling his carrots all over the couch and crawl into Mommy's lap and nestle his sweaty sticky little head on my shoulder and hug me and make everything else dissappear.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-77588707691827238742008-12-29T05:10:00.001-08:002008-12-29T05:18:27.299-08:00I'm so proud!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXLfVd1YagmcA1DQneH5YynU9d8WMMKtSF-PAiz1GcZES2OWFgD3J8XHqJvNaV5jA7WDOPn-SVSB5x3zBYJ4qJWu1YlEWePRPOhKKkcD_QIv_aCh_L8OtJCYLZyuzIgkS-lt47seM-476/s1600-h/Winter+2008+188.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXLfVd1YagmcA1DQneH5YynU9d8WMMKtSF-PAiz1GcZES2OWFgD3J8XHqJvNaV5jA7WDOPn-SVSB5x3zBYJ4qJWu1YlEWePRPOhKKkcD_QIv_aCh_L8OtJCYLZyuzIgkS-lt47seM-476/s320/Winter+2008+188.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285200332196064786" border="0" /></a><br />Although this may not be news to you, it is to me, so I'll share it anyway. This morning at 445 Bubby woke himself up, walked into the bathroom, turned on the light, went to the bathroom, and (and this is the exciting part) went back to bed!!!!!!! He has been potty trained for a while now and hasn't had to wear a pull up to bed in about four months but he still has a hard time waking himself up to go to the bathroom. He usually tosses and turns in bed and cries and Mommy has to wake him up and force him to go to the bathroom. He rarely wets the bed, and can hold it like nobodies business, but this morning was a true accomplishment!!! I'm so darn proud, what a big boy!<br /><br /><a href="http://maternalmirth.blogspot.com/">And finally, I stole a quote from a great little blog I just started reading </a><http: com=""><a href="http://maternalmirth.blogspot.com/"> and wanted to share it with you:</a><br /><br /><em>“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”</em> ~ Buddha<br /><br />Great, huh?!?<br /></http:>Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-81256533968559343642008-12-28T17:28:00.000-08:002008-12-28T17:40:55.514-08:00The holidays are over...yeee haaaawwww!The holidays are over and I am very happy. And since I refuse to celebrate New Years, mostly because my husband has never been able to spend it with me, I declare it time to get on with life. No more worrying about what to get the family and clients I'm so blessed to have, no more cookie cooking, no more Christmas music. Its time to get down to business, working and doing the usual. I enjoyed my nine days off from work but I miss my clients, loud and crazy as they are, and am looking forward to the bang bang of little feet around my house again. My job is extremely stressful but when I don't have children to feed and toys to trip over around my house I feel sort of worthless. What do people that don't have some sort of job do all day? Haha, they probably keep their houses much cleaner than mine and never have three weeks worth of laundry waiting for them at any given time.<br /><br />Over Christmas I was able to spend a few days with Seezter and Brother and it was wonderful. They left last night and it hit me just how much I miss them. They live 20 hours away from me and I hate it!!! When they said goodbye last night I felt like somebody had hit me in the stomach, I HATE having my family so far away. Ten days a year is just not enough time to spend with a sister you love so much. I see Brother even less because he is a Marine and often out of the country.<br /><br />My parents are moving next month and this was the last holiday we would all spend in their beautiful house on the hill, overlooking the town I grew up in. They are moving back down amongst the rest of the townsfolk and I'm going to miss my secret viewpoint of the city. Although I did not grow up in that house I think of it as home. My grandparents old furniture is arranged so beautifully there and now there is no room for it. It is almost like saying goodbye to them all over again and I can hardly bare it.<br /><br />Yes, the holidays are over. A new year is about to begin. I'm looking forward to what this next year has to hold. I have high hopes of many of our dreams coming true this year. I hope to be moving soon as well, out of this ancient house and into one that feels safer and has room for my dog to run outside without a zip line. I want a home with a sliding glass door out to a yard that my son and clients can easily reach, where I feel safe allowing the kids to play without my constant attention. A big six foot fully fenced in back yard with trees would be ideal. I also hope to be blessed with another child this year and I believe with enough patience and the right doctors this WILL happen for us.<br /><br />Happy holidays to everyone. I love you all.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-78756519804380704142008-12-17T18:35:00.000-08:002008-12-17T18:52:51.417-08:00YearningI started this blog with the intention of it being a lighthearted journey through my life as a child care provider. Unfortunately, the lightheartedness isn't within me lately. I take my job very seriously, I strive to always be honest and professional with my clients, to keep a clean house, to cook healthy food, and to maintain my presence of mind no matter how insane my day can become. Some days I find this really hard. Some days my personal life overshadows my work. For the one or two people out there that reads this there is something you should probably know about me. I want another baby. I want another baby so bad that it physically aches inside of me. We've been trying for over three years with no luck at all. Last month we tried again, and this time I allowed myself to get my hopes up. I thought that if I put all of my positive energy out into the environment that it would help. I made myself believe that it could happen, I allowed myself to believe that miracles really did happen. And yet, it did not happen. It is heartbreaking. Over and over and over again I find myself deflated, and yet I cannot stop trying. Getting through a day after yet another failed attempt is almost impossible. Yet I must. I have children to feed, diapers to change, a house to clean, and clients to please. <br /><br />I am sad but it is not all lost on me. After all, I do have one miracle baby. With every failed attempt at another I am brought closer to how truly unimaginable it is that I was ever able to have my son. I really do believe he was a gift given to the Fuzzy Guy and I. Without him we would not be a family, I would not have the most amazing husband on earth and the most beautiful little boy to ever live. I don't know how it is that he was created, maybe perfect timing mixed with love and yearning. I always knew I wanted him, from the time I was a little girl I knew I was put on earth to be a mother. I can't say I'm the best one, in fact some days I feel like the worst mom on earth, on the days when I yell a little to much or don't give my little man my complete attention when he is doing something amazing. But I was meant to be his mom and I love him with everything inside of me. I love him so much it is actually physically painful. <br /><br />I don't really know my point in writing this post but I needed and outlet. I don't tell a lot of people what I go through each month trying to conceive, I don't think many people really understand the yearning that a woman who cannot conceive posses. Although I do know a few people who have had it even harder than me trying to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">conceive</span> and I'm sure they too can share my feelings.<br /><br />Love your children, cherish them, they really are...........<br /><br />INCREDIBLE.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-49956708390162654682008-12-10T07:33:00.000-08:002008-12-10T07:35:40.339-08:00Musing of a Housewife, huge giveaway!!!Go to http://www.musingsofahousewife.com/holiday-gift-guide for your chance to win one of a ton of great prizes, it only takes a minute and the chances are pretty good. Good Luck!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-33070523250558502402008-12-08T14:33:00.000-08:002008-12-08T14:33:10.301-08:00Common Sense with Money: Share your Favorite Holiday Memory and Win a FLIP Camera<a href="http://www.commonsensewithmoney.com/2008/12/share-your-favorite-holiday-memory-and.html">Common Sense with Money: Share your Favorite Holiday Memory and Win a FLIP Camera</a><br /><br />Go to this website and enter to win this awesome prize, it would make a GREAT gift for yourself or someone you love. And yes, I said a gift for yourself because if you are a mommy you deserve a special gift every day of the week!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-85666083208484438842008-12-05T07:01:00.000-08:002008-12-09T06:30:05.488-08:00Thats right, I'm walking around with a cookie in my robe...Its cold in my house, really really cold! So, although I'm dressed I have my scrumptious fuzzy red robe from Victoria's Secret on over my clothes. Yes, I even wear it when my clients show up. I figure if they want to show up at my house at six-thirty in the morning then they get to see the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">loverlyness</span> that is my morning self.<br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">loverlyness</span> that is my morning self also loves cookies! When I was pregnant I had absolutely NO cravings. Once <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Bubby</span> was born I craved cookies! Cookies, cookies, cookies! The 11 p.m., 1 a.m., and 4 a.m., feeds were all fueled by cookies. Hence the fact that I only gained eighteen pounds during pregnancy and twenty after, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">uhg</span>!<br /><br />I still love cookies but I've since found other outlets, like candy bars, tee <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">hee</span>. But in all seriousness I really do try to keep the sweets to a minimum in our house. Fuzzy Guy and I are both pretty overweight, we both come from families where food was our way of celebrating everything. The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">FG</span> ad I can make picking boogers a celebratory <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">occasion</span> for an excuse to go out to eat. When we weren't broke off of our asses we used to go out to eat at least three to four times a weekend and almost one meal a day during the week. Now, we are broke and I've recently become a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">freakin</span> Betty <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Crocker</span> but that is a blog in and of itself. Anyway, I don't want our son to have the same relationship with food as we have. Vegetables make me cringe and the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">FG</span> runs away screaming at the mere sight of fruit.<br /><br />Anyway, to make a long story short (now about five days from when I started this post) I made some peanut butter cookies and I am eating them for breakfast. I have to do this in secret so my son doesn't think he can have cookies too. And that my friend is how a couple hours and a few thousand distractions later I find myself reaching into the pocket of my robe to find a peanut butter cookie and a whole <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">latta</span> crumbs!!! Have a great day!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-79760991244510228512008-12-03T12:25:00.000-08:002008-12-03T12:35:29.096-08:00Will the noise ever stop?Alright nap time, where the heck are you? I've been waiting for you since nap time ended yesterday and you are a true tease. These children, they NEVER stop making noise. If they aren't making noise with their mouths they are banging on things or jumping around making the entire house quake. I swear my parents feed their children crack before they send them here. They say, "hey child of mine, make sure you make your sitter as nuts as possible. Scream, yell, jump, throw fits! Get it out of your system so when you come home you can pass out thirty minutes after dinner and I can take all of the credit for your upbringing when I only spend a couple of hours a night with you." Really, do you they deserve the credit? Now I have a lot of part timers here and they really aren't the issue but my full time kids! Good Lord are they wild! I spend upwards of sixty hours a week with these kids, where the heck is my credit? To listen to their parents talk you would think they were stay at home parents, they think they know everything about their child. Really? Really I ask? Just think about that next time you drop your kid off at the sitter. Maybe she knows a little something, maybe you should head her advice. My parents sure don't, they think I'm an idiot. I've been doing this for years! For example, one of my lovely parents tells me I am not allowed to feed their eighteen month old raisins. They are a choking hazard I guess. My thought "yes everything is a choking hazard when a child is left to their own devices." I sit right with these kids when they are eating, if they choke it will not go unnoticed. I'm trained in the incidences of first aid and choking, I can handle it. But what <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> gets me is, the next day this same child comes to day care holding a giant chunk of apple. APPLE! Now how is that not a choking hazard? I'm just saying, think about it. Think about it!Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956713271600623132.post-9193092396815827982008-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:002008-12-02T15:19:23.703-08:00WelcomeAlright, well, ahhemmmm, what do I say? I am a loyal blog reader and decided maybe I should start my own, after all, I do have <span style="font-style: italic;">some</span> wisdom. So a bit about me...<br /><br />I am 26, I have a son who is almost four he shall be referred to as Bubby. I run a child care from my home in order to spend as much time as possible with Bubby, who has made it his mission in life to make me question this decision. Just how much time does one really want to spend with a four year old boy? How much time can one spend with a four year old boy without COMPLETELY loosing their mind? So anyway, I'm on the road to loosing my sanity, I figure I've got a year or so left before I can't even remember my name. Which I have problems remembering from time to time anyway. <br /><br />The child care? Uhg, the child care. Well, the kids are fine but the parents, <span style="font-style: italic;">my parents </span>(meaning clients not my life givers), they are an interesting bunch to say the least. You'll get to know them soon enough, they will be one of the main focuses of this blog. Lets just leave it at this; most of my clients have only one child and if you've ever been one, near one or are one, you know that first time parents are NUTTTTTTS!!!! The requests I get from these people are sometimes insane and often comical. The kids are all relatively normal but normal is used loosely around here.<br /><br />I am married to the Fuzzy Man, he is 6' 3" and very very fuzzy. I have a dog that I begged Fuzzy Man for for four years. Yes, I just said for for four! He is a lab mix and just the cutest thing in the world. I am a HUGE supporter of Gay rights, I am not gay nor have I ever been but it seems to really piss the parents off and I enjoy that. I don't support gay rights just to piss them off of course but it is a perk. Although I love my parents like mad we do disagree on this issue very strongly. Finally, I have a sister who married at seventeen to her high school sweet heart who is a Marine. She will be referred to as Seezter and he shall be Brother since he is the closest think I have. Although both Seezter and Brother are major pains I love and miss them daily. <br /><br />Well that is all for today. This blog alone has taken over four hours between interruptions and making lunch. TTFN...The Sitter.Dainey!http://www.blogger.com/profile/13206925533928751781noreply@blogger.com0